This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
