also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
