I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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