The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I need moral support for this bender
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
