She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
