I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
