She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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