I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
