so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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