I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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