Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
