whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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