Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
