he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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