so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
