I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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