he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
