am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't turn off my feet"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
