She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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