as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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