So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
