For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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