my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
