Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We are two peas in an std pod
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
