Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
