A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
