I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
