I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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