I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
