Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
