I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
