it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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