are you still at the devil's house?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
