i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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