Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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