He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
