if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
