the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
