I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize