I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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