it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
