Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
