You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
