I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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