I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
