In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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