I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We need to get me chipped asap
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
