I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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