On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
