in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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