Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
tell me about the fingering
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
