I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My vagina just recognized that song.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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