just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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