Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My dick has a subreddit
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
