a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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