So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
