I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
