I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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