oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
