i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
All I want is dick and wine.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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