Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Come share oat with me in your robe
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
