I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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