I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
