I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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