remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
